Friday, 23 September 2005

how i spent my "chemo" vacation !

i'm doing my little countdown to chemo ritual (COUNTDOWN TO CHEMO CLOCK SAYS 2 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES) and i do believe its now become a tradition for me to post some meaningless post the morn of my chemo eh !!!
why mess with tradition
i remember being back in the hospital earlier this month with the flu .. did i mention that i actually got to see my very OWN oncologist on my last day there?  he makes his hospital rounds between 7 and 8:30, before he heads off to seeing a full day of patients that aren't in the hospital
i hope he's making a ton of money off us sick cancer people .. i don't know how he does it .. one morning, before lunch, he'd seen 25 patients .. not very many of us are "happy" people .. well, cept me ;-)
a couple of "techs" or "patients" have comments that my doc is one of the best there is, "as long as you can get past his personality" .. GET PAST IT?!?  its one of the things i love most about him !!  when its time to get down to business, he gives it to me straight .. no beating around the bush, no platitudes, no false hope .. he speaks the truth .. and the more "truth" i want to know, the more detail he's willing to give me .. then afterwards, or before, depending on the news he has to share with me, then we quip, or flirt a bit, and he kinda squeezes my shoulder or gives me a quick, one arm hug .. i'm not here to get sympathy from the guy, i want him to save my life so way back on Sept 6th, i'm in my private hospital room, my 4th day, packing to go home when i hear a knock on my door
i recognize the voice of my oncologist "are you naked?"
and of course i reply "no, but give me a few minutes"
he strolls into my room chuckling .. i'm at the sink, getting prettied up for my trip home

"rumor has it you've been running a fever"
so i wink at him .. "i made it all up doc, just so i could experience some of your infamous 'bedside manner'"
"well" he replies, "now you've seen it, and we can both go home now"
"not really Doc, this doesn't count because i'm not REALLY in bed" and with that i scoot quickly over to my hospital bed, flop myself on the bed, cross my arms across my chest and tell him "ok doc, hit me with your best stuff!!"
we don't roll around the floors laughing, but i know he brightens my day and i'm thinking a brighten his day just a bit too .. at least i hope i do .. if there is one person in my life who deserves a bit of sunshine now and then .. he's the guy

yesterday was MY day .. i wanted a 2 week vacation of sorts, i ended up with a one day vacation .. and i loved it !!

i even got to take a nap (ok, its cheating because since i started chemo, i can't sleep unless i take a pill but i DID take a pill, and i DID take a nap .. i LOVE my naps - happy hour is a nap!!)
oddly enough, my daughter has been with her father just a week or so before i was diagnosed with lung cancer .. then after the diagnosis, she moved in with him and his wife .. so i've been living alone for this entire experience .. except for the one or two times my daughter came to visit and spent the night or the weekends my sister Susie stays with me after my chemo ..
(with one exception in the past 90 days) the only times i've been able to fall asleep without taking a pill is when either my daughter or my sister are visiting for the weekend
hmmmm ..
any way, this journaling time is cutting into my shower time so i best get a move on

i spent the morning reading Immortal Certainty sent to me by my Sister, Nancy (waving!!) outside, on my porch swing .. loving every moment of it

then i decided how i wanted to spend MY one day vacation -- you see, i've been receiving potted plants since i've been sick from chemo .. and i'm not exactly good at remembering to do things like "water them" .. i figured if they wanted even a small chance at life, they'd have to be moved outside near the automatic sprinklers

do i drove myself to the hardware store (a mere 1/2 mile away), i took the truck .. giggling since the last time i drove my truck was in June .. and i bought 6 planters, 3 bags of planting mix, 4 new potted plants, and more plastic gloves .. i was standing at the register, the girls was adding up my purchases when suddenly the heat began to get to me, so i apologized to her and took off my hat, exposing my bald head .. she smiled and actually told me she liked it better !!  i said "what the hell" and drove home bald too lol  in fact, i've learned that if i was to keep the screaming kids from next door inside while i'm gardening .. do it in the bald .. i found it comical they were nowhere to be seen for the entire afternoon lol|

i then
 proceeded to salvage any of the "get well" potted plants and the new plants .. then moved the planters to various places around the yard so they can catch the overspray from the automatic sprinklers
and then i stepped back and admired my work :)
here's the pics i took along the way ...

then i took a quick shower cause .. well, you know .. gardening is "dirty" lol

then i toasted my new "garden" with a shot of coconut rum

and as i sit here now, i can smile and feel that yesterday was a VERY good day .. the kind that makes me feel "normal" :)
on that note .. i need to go pack my chemo kit and take a shower .. and i suppose i should eat breakfast too .. i'm just not feeling hungry though ;-)

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