i'm doing my little countdown to chemo ritual (COUNTDOWN TO CHEMO CLOCK SAYS 2 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES) and i do believe its now become a tradition for me to post some meaningless post the morn of my chemo eh !!!
why mess with tradition
remember being back in the hospital earlier this month with the flu ..
did i mention that i actually got to see my very OWN oncologist on my
last day there? he makes his hospital rounds between 7 and 8:30, before
he heads off to seeing a full day of patients that aren't in the
i hope he's
making a ton of money off us sick cancer people .. i don't know how he
does it .. one morning, before lunch, he'd seen 25 patients .. not very
many of us are "happy" people .. well, cept me ;-)
couple of "techs" or "patients" have comments that my doc is one of the
best there is, "as long as you can get past his personality" .. GET
PAST IT?!? its one of the things i love most about him !! when its
time to get down to business, he gives it to me straight .. no beating
around the bush, no platitudes, no false hope .. he speaks the truth ..
and the more "truth" i want to know, the more detail he's willing to
give me .. then afterwards, or before, depending on the news he has to
share with me, then we quip, or flirt a bit, and he kinda squeezes my
shoulder or gives me a quick, one arm hug .. i'm not here to get
sympathy from the guy, i want him to save my life
so way back on Sept 6th, i'm in my private hospital room, my 4th day, packing to go home when i hear a knock on my door
i recognize the voice of my oncologist "are you naked?"
and of course i reply "no, but give me a few minutes"
he strolls into my room chuckling .. i'm at the sink, getting prettied up for my trip home
"rumor has it you've been running a fever"
so i wink at him .. "i made it all up doc, just so i could experience some of your infamous 'bedside manner'"
"well" he replies, "now you've seen it, and we can both go home now"
really Doc, this doesn't count because i'm not REALLY in bed" and with
that i scoot quickly over to my hospital bed, flop myself on the bed,
cross my arms across my chest and tell him "ok doc, hit me with your
roll around the floors laughing, but i know he brightens my day and i'm
thinking a brighten his day just a bit too .. at least i hope i do ..
if there is one person in my life who deserves a bit of sunshine now and
then .. he's the guy
(COUNTDOWN TO CHEMO CLOCK SAYS 1 HOUR 57 MINUTES)
yesterday was MY day .. i wanted a 2 week vacation of sorts, i ended up with a one day vacation .. and i loved it !!
even got to take a nap (ok, its cheating because since i started chemo,
i can't sleep unless i take a pill but i DID take a pill, and i DID
take a nap .. i LOVE my naps - happy hour is a nap!!)
enough, my daughter has been with her father just a week or so before i
was diagnosed with lung cancer .. then after the diagnosis, she moved
in with him and his wife .. so i've been living alone for this entire
experience .. except for the one or two times my daughter came to visit
and spent the night or the weekends my sister Susie stays with me after
my chemo ..
exception in the past 90 days) the only times i've been able to fall
asleep without taking a pill is when either my daughter or my sister are
visiting for the weekend
any way, this journaling time is cutting into my shower time so i best get a move on
spent the morning reading Immortal Certainty sent to me by my Sister,
Nancy (waving!!) outside, on my porch swing .. loving every moment of it
i decided how i wanted to spend MY one day vacation -- you see, i've
been receiving potted plants since i've been sick from chemo .. and i'm
not exactly good at remembering to do things like "water them" .. i
figured if they wanted even a small chance at life, they'd have to be
moved outside near the automatic sprinklers
do i drove myself to
the hardware store (a mere 1/2 mile away), i took the truck .. giggling
since the last time i drove my truck was in June .. and i bought 6
planters, 3 bags of planting mix, 4 new potted plants, and more plastic
gloves .. i was standing at the register, the girls was adding up my
purchases when suddenly the heat began to get to me, so i apologized to
her and took off my hat, exposing my bald head .. she smiled and
actually told me she liked it better !! i said "what the hell" and
drove home bald too lol in fact, i've learned that if i was to keep the
screaming kids from next door inside while i'm gardening .. do it in
the bald .. i found it comical they were nowhere to be seen for the
entire afternoon lol|
i then proceeded
to salvage any of the "get well" potted plants and the new plants ..
then moved the planters to various places around the yard so they can
catch the overspray from the automatic sprinklers
and then i stepped back and admired my work :)
here's the pics i took along the way ...
then i took a quick shower cause .. well, you know .. gardening is "dirty" lol
then i toasted my new "garden" with a shot of coconut rum
and as i sit here now, i can smile and feel that yesterday was a VERY good day .. the kind that makes me feel "normal" :)
that note .. i need to go pack my chemo kit and take a shower .. and i
suppose i should eat breakfast too .. i'm just not feeling hungry though