Wednesday 11 August 2004

i'm missing him already

as of 8:30 yesterday morning, my son is back in Hawaii .. Honolulu to be exact, to start his second year of college .. his dad hooked him up with a studio apartment overlooking the campus .. kid has got it tough i tell ya !!

honestly, i wasn't ready for him to leave yet ..

ok, i'll confess, i'd probably never be "ready" .. just something about waking up in the morning, seeing my son's clothes scattered around the house .. the front door unlocked ..  his shoes placed carefully waiting for me to trip over them .. and my son, sleeping soundly on the couch .. MY couch

i'm missing him already the good news is i have my pickup truck back !!

he's been driving it for the entire summer and i'd been attempting to get by driving his cadi (yea .. the one with the leaky radiator!)

i ran over to his fathers house yesterday after work to exchange vehicles, i just couldn't wait another day to have my truck back .. i feel so much safer .. and bigger :)

i've missed being able to see OVER the continual traffic jams .. of course i'll have to learn to park all over again .. and struggle to find parking spaces that are long enough and wide enough for both me and my truck to get into without doing any permanent damage !!

i had promised his father i'd give him the old "i'm concerned about your future so put down the surfboard and pick up a book" mommy speech but there just wasn't time .. besides, i kinda figure he has gotten enough of that speech .. the concerned daddy version of course

i imagine the next few weeks before my daughter starts the 8th grade will be filled with shopping .. and more shopping .. and perhaps just a *bit* more shopping .. ya think?

i'm going to try to find the time to run by the humane society today and check on Irish .. i know i could probably just call and find out, but i need to see her eyes ..

on that note, i'm trying a little more background stuff .. hopefully it will work a bit better than yesterday :)

Tuesday 10 August 2004

a quick update on Irish

i'm just testing out Greggers instructions for adding a background and at the same time, giving y'all an update on Irish, the adorable pitbull mix that was injured at the shelter on Sunday
i stopped by the humane society after work yesterday and the doc says she's doing fine (g'head .. ask me how much i hate the word "fine" !!!) her wounds aren't bleeding, at least externally .. she's still weak and shaky though .. thankfully she had enough energy to give me a few kisses while i was there
i'm keeping my fingers crossed that she makes a full recovery AND finds a loving family that can't live without her
i can't say i'm crazy about the way this background stuff is turning out .. i am not sure how to get the background to be continuous and not break between paragraphs !!  i even tried adding the paragraph breaks while i was in the html code view but they kept disappearing when i changed to view as text

i am attempting to correct the way the background appears and well, now the background appears to be working and not ending between paragraphs !! sheesh !! i'm not sure what i'm doing different between yesterday and today .. oh, wait .. i know, this is AOL after all .. the day now starts with a "W", its an even hour and i'm sitting with my legs crossed .. THAT must be the difference lol  

Monday 9 August 2004

be still my heart

ok .. so i'm still hooked up with that blasted dating service from yahoo .. not that i'm looking mind you, i've just forgotten my password so i don't know how to turn it off lol
i usually just delete the emails from Yahoo Matchmaker telling me they've found the man of my dreams for me .. but this morning i decided to take a look
oh my .. so many to choose from ..
"My life is dedicated to playing with my kids, skiing, mt.biking, surfing, and rock climbing. I also have a full time job and a home business to pay for it all."
oh .. like exercise? surfing? at my age? yea sure right .. i wonder how my wrinkles will look falling off a rock .. sounds right up my alley .. glad to hear that you'll be paying your own way though


"Looking for a best friend to have fun I love the outdoors, down to earth guy, who is outgoing and Very athletic and fit."


outdoors? like with the bugs? the closest i get to outdoors is taking out the garbage .. give me a 5 star hotel with room service instead please .. have you considered getting an athletic dog?  i hear they're mans best friend

you're a
down to earth guy?  does that mean you don't shower or shave to be closer to nature?  or does that mean you're really really short?
"I love to be with a small group of friends sharing life experience, talking funny stories, and reveal the inner fantasies"
does anyone else translate this into group sex or is it just me?  i'm not familiar with "talking funny stories" .. are those like comedy talking movies?
"Hi there. I'm looking for someone to have fun with...no strings attached...just want to see what happens and how things go. Sense of humor is a must"
whooo hoooo .. somebody wants to get laid .. good luck dude .. i guess you want somebody to laugh when you don't call back the next day eh? or do you mean somebody to laugh at your body parts .. i'm confused
"I believe life is all about going for the gusto! Seeing the world, trying new activities (even if they’re scary), and always learning is invigorating to me.?
gusto? oh how attractive .. old people with gusto .. i nap with gusto, does that count?  i think for something new i'll get patterned sheets on my bed


"Hi, I have lived in the Silicon Valley for nearly 15 years. I am originally from India,"
wonderful !! maybe you can help me fix my computer
oh well .. i had a great time sorting through all the selections this morning .. but i do believe i've had my fun quota for the day ;)

Sunday 8 August 2004

Journal Directory Updates - 7/31/04

abeator81-Amy-Amy Loves PeccarysThe weird and wonderful (or not so!) life that is mine and those that share it with me....
bluestblink82-Blue-Bluestblink8222,Crazy,Bored and MotivatedImpress Me
colesmomndad-Kim-The "Fats" of LifeThis is a journal of my current attempt to lose this fat butt and be a better, more energetic mommy to my son, Cole.
fjrav-Prospective on RotationsUsing this journal, I'll write my thoughts about my last two years of med school, which I may refer to later when I need to decide what type of doctor I want to be.
mgraves6033-Humorous Verse, or "Life With A Wife"Christian, husband, father, runner, average guy, adequate at most everything, outstanding at nothing.
mskitty611-Jes-Kitty's PlaceJust a bit about me, my kids, hubby, hobbies, and life.
playingam-Amber-blah.... blah....blahmy terrible life
rachoh322-Diary of a DramaqueenA journal written by and about a teenager who deals with the ups and downs of being a teen... a drama teen.
rebafandjDJ-DJ's Mind MazeCome and see what's inside my mind...beware you may get lost and not be found....it's abt my life and my cats.
ruthcollins00-Amber-It's a Dog's LifeA not-so-daily journal of my life...
wfhbear-Bill-Comments on the events of my lifeMy rants, raves, stumbles, and falls as I stomp my way through the swamp of life."Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home." by John Newton

wumzels2-Regina-SEDUCTION OF LIFECOLLECTIONS OF THOUGHTS, POEMS, PROSE, BOTH DARK AND JOYOUS

SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY JOURNALS
aynetal3-Ann et al-AOL Journals' First Year Hall of FameThis journal will be a contribution toward AOL Journals' 1rst year anniversary.  :)  The journal will present the work of first year journalists and their introduction to AOL J-Land.  
The requirements are to have registered in Pam's J-Directory by July 19, 2004 and to have given us permission to publish your information in this journal.
Pam's Directory can be found at http://hometown.aol.com/his1desire/page1.html
dornbrau-Debbie-JOURNALS ANNIVERSARY CARDSThis is just a compilation of Anniversary cards from Journalers throughout the AOL Journal communities.
floralilia-Flora-succulent wisdom - juicyness from j-landdedicated to all of us - to inspire, to enthuse, and to admire our collective juicy=ness.happy anniversary!
journalsrock-Together We Are One...Fly your FlagTo honor ourselves, our nations and our states, we proudly flew our flags high on opening day of the AOL-J celebration.Thanks everyone who participated.  Continue to fly your flags proudly.
lisbnjvi-State Flag JournalList of State Flags and the Journals of Proud "Flag Flyers" In Celebration of AOL's First Anniversary
sepintx-Steven-AOL Journal Garden-(Homepage)AOL Journal Garden
You are the Garden
tjexpressions-J-Land Registry-Celebrating J-Land's first Anniversary. Journals uniting together in a virtual Celebration all in fun and it's for everyone.
tjexpressions-FloatsShe who manages must hear and be deaf, must see and be blind. After all nonsence is the end result of all sence..
viviansullinwank-Vivian-AOL Journals !st AnniversarySpecial Edition Anniversary Blog (SEAB) to house and highlight the events of the cyber-celebration marking the 1st anniversary of AOL Journals. Event dates = 7/29/04 - 8/21/04
viviansullinwank-JLandAnniversaryGraphicsThis journal will contain graphics Ive received from other journalers for the 7/29/04 - 8/21/04 Journals 1st Anniversary Celebration

Journal Directory Updates - 8/2/04

bho171-Gladys-Gladys'Diet DilemmaA running account of the efforts of a senior struggling with discipline (or lack there of) as measured by weight management (pounds lost and weight maintained), skills gained (pc), PMA built and maintained, and tracked on a bi-weekly basis.
bigred3392-Tracy-Stepping Stones and CoffeeThe transition from adolescence to adulthood can be an awkward one. Out of nowhere, questions have started to sprout at the corners of my psyche: What is the meaning of life? How can I make a difference in the world? Why am I still single? There are a few things I'm certain of: I want to be a first grade teacher, I want to venture outside of the doldrums of routine and I want the road leading me toward my independence to be flanked by coffee shops.
dklars-Kath-Secret GardenMusing, Pondering and Whining about My Life.
kahdib-KDBLivin' The Crazy Life (of a 20 something, career-starting, recently-engaged, newly-independent, kid in grown up pants)
puppetmaster966-Michelle-A whole lot of nothin!!!A little bit of me, a little bit about them and a whole lot of nothin!
wordsinc-Paulie-The Side Doorpolitics, religion, lifestyle, health, finance, how-to's, quizzes, games, puzzlers and lots of free advice on living simply

Journal Directory Updates - 8/7/04

amviolinist07-Amanda-Now Entering Amanda's MindWhats actaully going on behind closed doors in my mind. Things that you would never guess.
brokeninmyself-Dalyce-When nothing else matters
when you take a deep breath and see things more clearly then before, when you can lift your head and smile without fear in your eyes, and when light seems to grow deep inside you. you know your ready.
cathy0o0-Cathy-Anything Goes
Anything and everything and inbetween.
derasta-Debbie-A Journey To A Healthier Me
My thoughts and feelings along with recording everything I eat on a daily basis..this is my journey and an exciting one, one that I know I will follow thru with and become the person i've so longed for...join me on this trip
First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end.  Aristotle
derasta-Debbie-FORWARD CITY
Frustrated because no one appreciates the tons of forwards you send? Fret no more...here we love them! Send them to me and i'll add them here for everyone to enjoy...
ebonygrl3-Taste of the South
Recipes from the heart of a true Southern cook.
edpaintered-Ed-If Thoughts Could Talk
My talking thoughts regarding family life and freinds.
elbxmatatan-Hood Politics
Bringing Politics to the urban community.
foreverme382-Renee-The Journal Of The Unique Other
Everyday something new runs through my mind. Isn't that how it works for everyone? I am in a stage of my life where I cannot make up my mind about my own person. I am very happy, but at the same time, I am in a lot of pain and I am suffering major depression issues. I guess I'm just trying to piece myself together and this is just another possible helpful solution.
Im Here102-Mary-Politics: Does not compute
My views from the far reaches of my mind
jkb2320-Kim-Going Mach 2 with my hair on FIRE !!
My busy life as a wife, mother of 5 and grandmother of 10. There's never a dull moment, so, visit each day to see who does what and how I react to it. You wont be disappointed!
journalsuk-A Mum's Tale
A blog about a family in West London
journalsuk-One Apple Tasted
A Novel about love, death and safety pins
in 31 Chapters by Hodmandod
All Rights Reserved: Copyright 2004
lilbithvnnhell-Tammy-Something to talk about
Whatever is going thru my mind...
michelewln-Michele-Visions Inside My Mind
A place to share my art, writing, poetry, recipes and thoughts because sometimes you need someone other then the cat to listen to you.
munowe-Mary-CHAOS REIGNS
This is my life.  Share my experiences, opinions, family, friends, and the chaos that is my life.  Put your seatbelt on it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
mzgoochi-Lahoma-Remember when..
I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you---Nobody----Too?
Then there’s a pair of us?
Don’t tell! they’d advertise---you know!
How dreary---to be --- Somebody!
How public---like a Frog----
To tell one’s name---the livelong June---
To an admiring Bog!
Thank You Emily Dickinson and Kathleen
playin35style-Erika-Playin' 35 Style
This journal knows what playin' 35 style is all about. From the "35" herself, go into the mind of erika and learn what playin' 35 style is all about
quitlaffinatmysn-Headin' South
Follow along on what I'm sure will end up being a journal packed with humor, confusion and seriousness as I relocate from the coast of Lake Ontario in New York to the Gulf Coast of Florida!
sara97racer-Sara-Just a Girl
I'm just a girl looking for love.. but my main love is NASCAR and anything that deals with NASCAR.
sara97racer-Sara-NASCAR World
All the latest news and info from the world of NASCAR. Race updates and points standings.. and anything else that might be going on at the moment
smprfipisis1114-Rachie-Rach's Journal
This is just a buncha my thoughts, feelings, and randomness. Oh, and sometimes even I become sensable and say something smart
sweetmelissa4u-Melissa-One Time At Band Camp
Just for fun ... isn't everything anyway
trinainmobile-Trina-Reflections...
A blog to vent about the day-to-day drama in my life, poems, pictures, and whatever else pops into my head.

Journal Directory Updates - 8/9/04

jjfgiuffre-John G-All Things ChristmasAll things Christmas is a place to remember those wonderful Christmas's we have all had and even some that may not have been the best. It is also a Journal for you to use all and any grahics you would like for your use.
lindainspokane-Linda-Unedited BB5...Behind the Scenes
Have you ever wondered what happens behind the scenes at the BB 5 house?  What they aren't showing on TV? Well I will tell you and show you all the juicy tidbits and gossip!!
moondawghouse-Larry-MOONDAWG'S PARKING LOT
A long-haul trucker's stories, anecdotes, observations, opinions, and rants. A lighthearted glimpse of life on the road and life in general in this crazy world.
moondawghouse-Larry-THE 'DAWG'S SOAPBOX
The opinions of a truck driver?? Yep, I have some and this journal will be dedicated to airing my personal take on politics, social issues, current events, and more. Every time I feel like "mouthing off" about something. This journal is public and I invite any and all comments, in agreement -- or not, as long as they are respectful

Irish, i'm so sorry

i thought i'd seen the worst .. that should teach me
i ran off to the humane society this morning to put in my weekly quota of volunteer hours
for those of you are new to my ramblings on about the shelter, i volunteer there at least once a week for a few hours .. i'm trained in cat socialization and in canine healthcheck, where we process all incoming dogs, after their mandatory hold period, to find out if they're suitable for adoption .. we also vaccinate and check for any possible medical problems .. i've been doing this for almost a year and even though it has its ups and downs, i finally feel i'm pretty good at what i do and i no longer feel like i'm a "newbie liability" to the shelter
oh .. and i have a long-standing fear of big dogs .. the scar from a german shepherd on my chin, the scar from a saint bernard on my right foot might give you a clue as to why i'm fearful .. i now consider myself a cat person .. and a fish person .. and a hamster person lol
this morning. our first healthcheck was on a lab/retreiver mix .. a huge goofy male, that i ended up naming "Roy" .. "Big Boy Roy" .. he was timid and shaking at first, but finally warming up, content to sit at my feet while i typed in his vaccination dates and anything we noted about his behavior .. he's going to make some family extremely lucky to have found such a peaceful content dog
we'd only gotten through 2 dogs this morning when the super, Dennis, came in. saw me and said "well !! if it isn't our best loved volunteer !!" i laughed and told him if they really loved me they'd give me a raise .. at *least* 10 percent more than i'm making now .. "i think you deserve 15% percent more" .. we all laughed
then he informed us that we were to shut down healthcheck for the day .. the adoption kennels were full .. sometimes 1 dog per kennel, usually paired up, and if they're small, 3 to a kennel
instead we were to run over to adoptions and work on changing the dogs in the kennels, pairing them up with different dogs
why fix something that isn't broken was my thought .. if the dogs were getting along, why not just leave them?  because they can become too "content" with their new kennel buddy and may lose their social skills with other dogs .. they need to be paired up with different breeds, different personalities, different sizes and genders, so they stay on their toes and allows them to improve and practice their socialization skills .. in the end, it makes them just *that* much more adoptable knowing they can (and have) socialized with other dogs during their stay with us
the rub?  the shelter used to have a cap of 3 adult pitbulls in adoptions .. they recently removed the cap and today, we have 18 adult pitbulls in adoptions, some of them there over a month
as i'm typing this, i'm thankful that i'm no longer shaking .. the tears have subsided .. perhaps from the wine that i felt i deserved at 1:00 in the afternoon .. my tummy is still tied up in knots .. my heart is still breaking and i've realized it might take awhile to get over this one
ya know how you feel when something happens that you just *know* that its going to be one of those life defining moments?  one of those things that will never be replaced with newer memories .. one of those things that you have no doubt will end up effecting how you react in the future in similar situations?
yea .. its one of those .. me, recently feeling like my huge fear and caution of big dogs was finally replaced with knowledge (knowledge displaces fear .. did you know that?)
i'm not the victim .. i'm merely an innocent bystander .. the victim was Irish .. a beautiful gray pit bull mix that we healthchecked 2 weeks ago into adoption .. she has the sweetest demeanor for a pitbull mix that i've ever seen .. she got into a tangle last weekend with a more aggressive male pit so we quickly pulled her and put her in with a smaller male puppy so she could be the dominant
and now she's laying in the hospital .. sedated, her wounds cleaned and antibiotics started
it happened so quickly .. so very quickly .. the 3 dogs, all female pits, getting along wonderfully in the socialization area .. playing with toys, showing NO outward signs of even the mildest form of aggression .. until one of the dogs snapped .. pinning me in the corner with my pitbull who thankfully was still leashed .. the leash stuck on my wrist when they screamed at me to hand them my leash so they could pull my dog out of the mix .. they finally pulled out my girl, leaving me in the corner with the fighting pitbulls .. Irish frantically trying to get away from the pit that had a death grip on her neck
i finally ended up jumping over the 4 foot fence getting out of the way of being involved in the fight .. we had immediately called out a code 3 so thankfully the area was soon swarming with knowledgeable techs who succeeded in pulling the dogs apart
from what i understand, its going to be remembered as the worst dog fight in the history of the humane society
and my heart is breaking for Irish .. i was the one that decided she would do well in the pairing up .. there is no aggression in her that i've seen and felt she was a good candidate .. i stopped and saw her in the hospital before i left for home .. i'm guessing she doesn't blame me since she was still willing to give me a few kisses .. i'm hoping Dr Chad is going to work his miracles on her
after everything had finally calmed down i knew i couldn't go home .. first of all, i was an accident waiting to happen .. and i knew that if i went home now. after falling off the horse, that it might be a cold day in hell before i go back to the shelter
so i jumped back on the horse that threw me .. standing back this time so that MY fear didn't play a part in how the next set of dogs interacted .. i guess Dennis knew that we'd all be prone to being a little gun shy so he valiantly held our hands through the next set of pair ups .. and the next .. where we ended up having to break up yet another dog fight
i decided it was time to call it a day .. a million hours later
i'm thinking tomorrow i need to find time to go check on Irish .. and tell her again that i'm sorry

Saturday 7 August 2004

just DON'T ask

i'm not quite sure what i did that constitutes a violation of community guidelines
i was searching for a journal thats all .. honest !!
i suppose AOL thought i was asking how something went wrong with AOL .. and i suppose THAT is against the rules?
hehe