Wednesday, 14 September 2005

day 82

first, i want to thank Melissa for sending me an email reminding me to keep y'all updated :)
that hospital thing and then the flu thing really hit me hard .. maybe more emotionally than physically?  ::shrugging::  all i really know is that i was so looking forward to a 2 week "vacation" from the chemo and it just didn't work out the way i had planned :)
yesterday i was well enough to venture down to my office for a couple of hours .. i had to get a ride from a coworker cause i just don't feel up to driving yet, but at least its a step in the right direction !!
fever - gonechills - gonesore throat - goneenergy level - way up !!appetite - way up !!
a few weeks/months ago, several journalers suggested i join ChemoAngels ..
Welcome to Chemo Angels

i read the website and found that i was extremely hesitant in signing up for "charity" pampering .. i mean, here i am .. i have so much support from my family, friends and journaling buddies .. i figured there were probably a lot of people out there that could use their generous pampering

and then i changed my mind :)
within days i started receiving cards and small gifts from my 2 chemo angels .. (i think somebody made a mistake and assigned me 2 angels, when we're only supposed to get one .. but if you don't tell them, i won't either !!)

i have Erika, my Angel from Virginia
andi have Sandy, my Angel from Illinois

these 2 ladies have made me WANT to walk out to my mailbox again !!!  when somebody like me is racking up over $60,000 in medical costs (so far) a trip to the mailbox can end up being a rather traumatic event !!
the cards they send to me, the way they share their lives with me, cheering me on, wishing me well, sending refrigerator magnets, bookmarks .. you should see how my dresser top is covered with their special mail !! i am like a child at Christmas when i walk out to my mailbox and see that i have mail from my angel's !!
wow .. i'm actually sitting here crying .. i don't know if these 2 ladies have any idea how much it means to me to be able to spend a few moments a week .. smiling, reading the cards i received from each of them .. they are both so sweet and we seem to have so much in common !!
i wish i had the energy to correspond with both of my chemo angels .. but i don't and trust me, my handwriting is looking more like a 2 year olds than a 49 year olds lol

so i figured, instead, maybe i'd just write a little something in my journal, letting both of them know how much they mean to me .. and then sending them a copy of this entry ..
i realize i'm gonna get "caught" when they discover i have 2 angels :(  so i am probably going to lose one of them .. but thats ok .. cause the amount of pampering i've received so far, just a few weeks after signing up for chemo angels .. well, they just have this way of making me feel special :)

i think the part that made it so easy for me to accept their pampering is .. well, this is what was written in the email i received from ChemoAngels ..

PLEASE NOTE!!! We want you to focus your energy on your health. You do not have to respond to your Angels if you are not up to it. This is not a pen pal program (unless you want it to be!) This is all for you. And if you are of the old school who feel compelled to send a thank-you note for every item received, we ask you to resist that urge. Your Angel(s) would appreciate a brief email or note from you every now and then just to let her/him know how you are doing, but please do not feel that you must respond. If you ever feel that your Angel is expecting a response from you, please let me know. If you ever do not hear from your Angel for 10 days or more, PLEASE notify me! We want you to experience the best that the ChemoAngels program has to offer.
thank you to MY Angels .. thank you :)
and thanks to both journalers whosuggested i join ChemoAngels :)
and thanks to my lil sis Nancy, who has decided to make a "career" out of finding me books from my list to read lol

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