have you ever done something that somebody warned you NOT to do, but you decided you knew better than they did and did it anyway?
feeling kinda like the time i was a child and decided i couldn't wait
until Christmas day and snuck down and unwrapped a present under the
tree .. and afterwards i felt awful and realized that the surprise of
unwrapping a gift on Christmas day was a lot more fun than finding out
what i was getting before Christmas
just got back from having the xray and blood work done .. and realized
nobody told the xray technician that i wasn't supposed to see the xray
told her that i really wanted to see it cause my tumor was feeling like
it had been around long enough that it had qualified as "one of the
family" and wanted a name
she laughed .. "once it has a name, its going to expect a present at Christmas"
"and of course, its going to expect to be invited to Thanksgiving dinner" i added
"and i suppose you'll have to take it trick or treating"
"not only that" i joked, but "its going to want a costume for Halloween and i have NO idea what kind of costume to get a tumor"
"maybe it could be a cotton ball" she suggested
"nope .. that wouldn't work .. its more of a rectangle shape, so probably more along the lines of a Volkswagen van"
"ohhh !! we'll paint it florescent green with peace signs all over it!!"
i shouldn't have looked at the xray .. i'm NOT a specialist .. i can
only guess .. and from where i was standing, my tumor doesn't look any
different than it did back in June
i've got a call into my sister
Susie to double check to make sure the doc said no chemo or
avastin tomorrow if the tumor hadn't responded .. i just need to make
sure i didn't make that up and that he really DID say that to me
of course, i could be wrong .. maybe i don't remember what my tumor looked like
just got a call back from sister Susie and she recalls that the doc was
rather ambivalent about plan C .. remember, there is basically NO
research done on treating patients with stage IIIa non-small cell lung
cancer with Avastin .. so he may decided to hit it again or give up on
the chemo/avastin treatment and go straight to radiation treatment
now i'm off to call my wife-in-law (my ex-husbands wife) since she was
in radiation oncology for 3 years and get a little more info from her as
to what to expect if i end up needing radiation
now i have the added stress of naming the tumor .. "tommy tumor" sounds so pedestrian .. any good suggestions?