i need a real man

i need a man

not just *any* man, mind you .. a special man

couragous, perhaps .. adventurous, definately .. one who's ego isn't inflated beyond recognition simply because there is a woman who requires his "services"

i know y'all have probably ventured by now that i consider myself pretty much self sufficient .. after being divorced for almost 10 years and single for the last few years .. its borne out of necessity

but frankly .. there are things i just can't do myself

not that i haven't tried

but in my wise old age i've finally come to the conclusion that men are .. well .. men can do things that women can't do .. at least not this woman

frustrated .. i've sent out a cry for help to all my female friends .. its not that they don't love me .. or WANT to help .. but the majority of the time i hear "thats something my husband always takes care of" or "i'd be happy to try but i don't know what i'm doing" .. my dear friend Cindy even went so far as to tell me that she preferred the old fashioned method .. no fancy gadgets .. nothing to hook up

i’ve given a lot of thought to going back to the old fashioned way myself .. but honestly, it just takes too long and i can’t stand the taste .. yuck !!  and the cleanup is the worst !!  even when i was married cleaning up was always considered my job

if i would have thought ahead, i would have had my son’s friends help out when they were all over here during spring break .. perhaps between 6 young men they could have figured it all out together

thinking about it though, i’m sure they wouldn’t have had any experience with my “older model” .. even though it still works, and is probably built the same as the “newer models” .. it has been known to be a tad touchy and doesn’t always work the way it was intended .. i may be self sufficient at times but I’m not a teacher .. that’s why i’d prefer a man with experience with older models

just to give you an idea of what we’re working with here, i’ve decided to take a picture (IF you promise not to laugh) you can see below that even though it still works, its not very pretty and (blushing) i have to admit that i haven’t taken very good care of it over the years

i've given thought to calling my last boyfriend .. maybe for old times sake he'd volunteer to help me out .. or at the very least teach me how to do it myself

fearful he might consider my call to him as a desire to resume our relationship .. i've decided against it

my ex-husband perhaps?  maybe .. just maybe he'd give it a go .. naw .. i'm really not ready for my ex to start thinking i "need" him .. quite frankly i'm not even sure he's kept up with modern technology .. he still might be doing it the old fashioned way himself

i should have been prepared .. had my ducks lined up so to speak .. cause i know, without fail .. every spring, every summer i simply require one special man

so i'm begging for a little help from my friends .. if you have knowledge of a man who is willing to help out a single mom and then just walk away .. no strings attached .. i promise it shouldn't take more than .. ohhhh .. 10 to 15 minutes max

don't forget to mention to him, please, that i'm more than willing to pay .. i don't accept freebies

maybe we could even set something up .. like on a regular basis .. twice, maybe 3 times a year .. or maybe i could just call when i need his services again

sheesh .. this even sounds desperate to me

my apologies for sounding so evasive and skirting delicately around the issues .. but this is so embarrassing for me to admit that there are some things i just can’t take care of myself

now, please don’t laugh .. i know its old and grungy .. but hey .. it works

if i could just find ONE real man to be brave enough to fill up the little propane tank thingy and get it all hooked up again for me, and i should be set for the entire summer