Tuesday, 27 April 2004

in a perfect world

i filed my papers with Childrens Support Services last week .. i was so nervous that its a miracle i didn't get sick right there in front of everyone .. but the wheels have been set in motion .. i suppose the bottom line is that i'm relieved .. i'm not sure where things will end up a few months from now but i'm going to give this entire child support / child visitation issue my best shot  
thank you to those who left comments and emailed me privately .. it has helped me more than i could ever attempt to explain  
i've been extremely honest with my daughter so far .. i've explained to her that her father has a responsibility to provide financial and emotional support to her .. she responded with "you know you're going to make him angry" .. i told her that yes, i did indeed know he was going to get angry but i felt it was worth it to make sure she receives the life that she deserves  
i also explained to her that none of this is easy for me .. she hugged me and told me to be strong .. "and if you get scared mom .. just read your cellphone" .. after filing the papers in CSS on Friday i opened my cellphone to read my new greeting from my daughter .. "i love you mom"  
last night i sat down with her again and explained that there was a really good chance that instead of giving us money her father MIGHT decide he wanted to spend more time with her but i didn't want to make the decision for her so i needed to know .. in a perfect world, how much time did she want to spend with her daddy  
"every other day" is her idea of a perfect world
i laughed and told her i didn't think that was possible .. after a bit of negotiation we've made a list together to give to her daddy of how much time she'd like to spend with him during the year ..
1 weekend a month AND 1 dinner a week AND 1 week during Christmas vacation AND 3 weeks during summer vacation 
i've run it through the calculator this morning and it would increase his time spent with her from his current 3% to 15% .. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that he realizes this is about our daughters welfare and takes us up on our offer to spend a great deal more time with her instead of just throwing money at us

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