Thursday 25 March 2004

classic television at its best

yet another email worthy of a few chuckles

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q.  Do female frogs croak?
A.  Paul Lynde:   If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q.  If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A.  Charley Weaver:  Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q.  True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A.   George Gobel:  Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q.  You've been having trouble going to sleep.  Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts:  That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q.  According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think  that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie:  No; wait until morning.

Q.  Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver:  My sense of decency.

Q.  In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price:  No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q.  What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel:  I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q.  As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie:  You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q.  Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde:  Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

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