just a quick update .. as long as my
ISP is willing .. during most of the day i can't stay connected long
enough to even read my email let alone reply
i'm just trying to
relax, trying to regain my strength and weight .. the strength is slow
in returning .. the weight, well, i've gained back 5 1/2 pounds that i
managed to lose in 11 days after the chemo !! Just 2 more pounds and
i'll be back to my 2nd pre-chemo weight .. i'm sucking down as many
apple juice/high calorie powder as my body can tolerate, usually
amounting to an additional 1,000 calories a day
trying to deal
with my day-to-day responsibilities, watching, amazed, at how molehills
turn into seemingly insurmountable mountains .. there are days i take a
chill pill just to make sure i don't go through an emotional overload ..
but i'm slowly but surely able to cross things off my to-do list and
now i'm playing countdown to chemo again
6 days to go before my
3rd chemo .. and of course the required chest xray and bloodwork prior
.. i wish they would let me postpone my third treatment for a week or so
.. i really feel just one more week and maybe i'd be back up on my feet
again and have a better chance of surviving (and yea, it kinda does
feel like i'm battling for my life when i get that sick from the chemo)
so
i have 5 days to finish 4 weeks worth of work at the office (i'd laugh
at how ridiculous it even sounds, but the situation is just not feeling
very funny) but i started yesterday going through my office to-do list
and very very slowly taking care of business
my cats still
haven't figured out why i'm so cross and short with them .. most days i
feel like the chemicals ate all my patience cells .. if i end up hiring
somebody to come in and babysit me, i'm putting on their list of
responsibilities to remove dead critters from my kitchen and give my
cats some extra special loving
and
i found out (today? yesterday?) that Savior Sister Susie is buying me a
dishwasher !! its a baby dishwasher .. a mini portable .. 18 inches
wide .. just a necessary place for me to keep my dirty dishes until i
have the energy to wash them .. i have a miniature kitchen with NO
counter space, so between the dirty dishes and the washed dishes that
are sitting in the dish drainer, i have no counter space left
i
finally figured out how much money i've been spending the past 2 months
.. i broke it down between the "necessary cancer expenses" and "having
fun while having cancer expense" categories .. me thinks i let the
latter get a little out of hand and realized today that my pampering has
got to stop .. or i won't have any money left for the necessary
expenses .. copayments; prescriptions; my deductible; grocery deliver ..
etc .. etc
i swear, after the dishwasher and having another
phone jack installed in my bedroom, and buying a few more good books to
read, i'm done spending money i should be spending on necessities .. but
it WAS fun while it lasted :)
i don't think being a poor cancer
patient is going to be nearly as much fun as pretending to be a rich
cancer patient .. but my credit card companies are going to be much
happier when i'm able to pay them instead of just use the cards lol
i
was hoping i'd have some left to send to the red cross to help
Louisiana and Tennessee .. it makes me feel so helpless to see those
people who've lost everything .. but it does make me realize how lucky i
am .. maybe someday i'll be really rich instead of credit card rich and
i'll be able to do something .. in the meantime i offer the victims my
prayers
on that note, its my bedtime .. nite y'all !!!
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