day 91

i've only got 12 minutes before my daily phone call to my mom so i figured i'd sit down and at least start a journal entry ..
::big sigh::
tomorrow is my 3rd round of chemo .. i did my research last night on the new drug my oncologist is adding to the mix "Avastin" .. and found basically NOTHING about the results of the drug on stage IIIa lung cancer .. i read a lot about the effects on other types of cancer; a read a lot about the trials on stage IV lung cancer .. the results average that those cancer patients were given an additional 2 months to be able to live .. but i have state III lung cancer so it doesn't apply to me .. except i found one article that stated that Avastin "looks promising for the treatment of lung cancer" and of course the fact that the drug manufacturer's stocks have risen 25% since its release in the market

yesterday i managed to finish up ALL my work responsibilities .. i met with my boss's CPA, who graciously met me at my house to go over the paper work .. today i don't want to deal with the "Pam as an employee" aspect of my life NOR do i want to deal with "Pam. the cancer patient" aspect of my life .. i just want to relax and enjoy my life for 24 hours .. no stress, no demands, no sadness ..

tomorrow morning at 8:30 i go to the lab for more blood work .. at 8:50, i meet with my oncologist to talk before they start my 3rd round of chemo .. Sister Susie will arrive shortly before 8:30 to drag me over to the doctors office
::insert giggles from daily phone call to my mom!!::
i'm baaaaack !!

now for the rest of the day, the day before chemo, i have groceries being delivered between 10 and noon a couple more minor to-do's and then i'm on my own to "have fun" .. i'm thinking i'll start on one of the Butch Karp series books that my sister, Nancy, purchased for me on e-bay !!!  hopefully if the sun stays out and the construction workers from down the block are quiet, maybe i'll go sit on my porch swing and soak up some mother nature

or if its overcast, i'll sit in my cozy bed, distracted by the rays of color reflecting from the dream catcher that my sister Linda mailed to me (and arrived yesterday !!)  its beautiful !!  i ended up hanging it in my bedroom window, the crystals are making sure that all these beautiful colors explode onto my bedroom walls !!  thank you Linda :)
and a quick peak out my office window reveals yet another beautiful surprise !!  the soon to be sunflowers are now "official" sunflowers !!!
check it out !!



i'll keep saying it, life is SOOOOOO good !!!