Please note

Pam moved her journal to AOL Journals UK in November 2005, in protest against the inclusion of advertising on the US site. Her story resumes on day 149.


Pamela Hilger passed away on 16 April 2006 at the age of 50. 

Her sister, Nancy, posted the following in the comments section of Pam's last entry, which she made on 9 April 2006, the 287th day of her battle with cancer.

I don't have other information, as to exactly when, or anything else, her ex husband called my sister Susie about an hour ago to let her know.

She is at peace now, she's not in pain, she doesnt hurt. We who loved her are the ones who are suffering now, and i know that my life is better for having had her in it, so the pain even can be appreciated, That I hurt because she was my sister, and I got to love her, and be loved by her.

She told me a couple years ago, that all she wanted out of life, was to touch one person, and make a difference in someone's life. Then she would know that she was a success. The last time that she and I had a long conversation was about 2 weeks ago. And she KNEW that she was a sucess. That she has touched so many people, made a difference in so many people's lives. She knew the end was very near, and she was scared, but she knew that she had accomplished what she had set out for herself as her life's goal. How many of us can say that?

Hug your sisters, your friends, your loved ones. Tell them what they mean to you, and how they've touched your life. Let them know while you can. Life is so short.

Thank you all for your words, and prayers. Knowing that there are people all around the world who are grieving for her as we are is a great comfort to us.

Thank you all

Nancy, Betty & Keith

A little later, her sister posted:

I just spoke with Pam's ex, Nelson, and he filled me in on what happened today.

Nicky, my nephew was with her, around noon. She stopped breathing. He called 911, and did CPR til the paramedics got there. They were unable to revive her, and she was pronounced dead at home.  The police decided because of the circumstances, that no investigation or coroner were needed, and she was left in the care of Nelson and Suzan, her ex-wife-in -law. She was picked up by the funeral home about an hour ago, and Nelson is going down there tomorrow to make the arrangements for her memorial service. Per her wishes, she will be cremated, and I will post the details of the service, should anyone who is close enough to come wants to attend.

I accidentally deleted a bunch of members from her update group today, I am so sorry, my mind is not right at this time.  Please check to see if you were deleted, and I am really really sorry.

I will cross post this in her Journal.

Nancy