you pick the subject .. i can't decide

i don't know whether to caption this entry "i'm in the wrong business" or "this is how much love costs"

bubba .. our longhair sweetheart of a male cat woke up this morning with a swollen face and yet another fever .. i searched, but couldn't find any obvious wounds and he wouldn't let me inside his mouth to take a look

so after i got my daughter up and ready to spend a few hours at her girlfriends house, i ran bubba over to the emergency vet where we've sat waiting for the last 2 hours

finally we get to see a vet and in 10 minutes shes agreed .. yup  .. his face is swollen .. yup .. he has a fever

they're holding him for a few hours so they can shave his face to see if there is an obvious wound which would explain the abscess .. if not, then we move on to xrays to determine if its something like an abscessed tooth .. if it is, then the most they can do is treat the fever, treat the infection and then he needs to go to his regular vet to treat the cause

so this bill .. in all its fucking glory might just be the beginning

its feeling more and more like a second job is lurking in my very near future .. maybe i can go back to school and become a vet so i can rake in the big bucks

it drives me up the wall every single time i need to seek medical treatment for my beloved cats .. i don't believe for one moment that anyone there is concerned with whether or not people can actually afford the treatments .. if by chance they're broke .. they'll gladly put the animal down for a few more of your hard earned dollars

i can't count the number of times i've heard behind these peoples backs "if you can't afford it, you don't deserve to have a pet" .. and i agree .. i probably don't deserve to be surrounded by all these souls that love unconditionally .. but they picked me .. they showed up at my door uninvited and decided to stay .. who was i to argue

perhaps i'd feel a whole hell of a lot different towards vets if ONE accepted payments .. but no .. its a 100% cash or credit service .. no ifs ands or buts or sob stories

so i did the only thing i could do when presented with the bill .. i handed over my atm card and told her "go for it .. we really don't need to eat for the next 2 months anyway" .. and i bet she's thinking i don't deserve to own Bubba since i can't afford it